Alexandrian/Gardnerian: To reveal this would be to break my oath of secrecy. I can say, though, that it *really* is an ancient rite, dating far back in time, back even before 1951, and I have learned it from an unbroken lineage. As Gerald said, it takes a…
I don’t understand slut shaming. What I really don’t get is slut shaming your own children.
Things I have told my daughter to do when she wants to become sexually active:
Tell me so I can make sure she is safe. (In a safe environment. Practicing safe sex)
Tell me so I can get her birth control.
Tell me so I can get her condoms.
Do I want her to wait until she is at least out of high school? Honestly I do. I want her to be physically, emotionally, and mentally mature enough to have responsible sex. But whenever she chooses to become sexually active the one thing she will never hear from me is slut shaming. That is her body. Humans are sexual creatures. If and when she chooses to have sex, I can only hope that I have taught her well enough to be responsible about it.
I refuse to make my daughter feel ashamed of her body and her sexuality.
And for those people who say I am “condoning her actions”(people have told me this before). Well, duh. Sex isn’t a dirty thing (unless you want it to be). And there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. All I want for my daughter is for her to be safe, happy, and loved.
that it is possible for two fictional male characters to be close friends without wanting to fuck each other
And did you know I don’t give a fuck?
And are you aware of how little depiction people within the LGBT community receive in mass media? And did you know that you can shove it?
did you know that arbitarily making two fictional male friends fuck each other in every instance actually feeds into homophobia and restrictive gender stereotyping by asserting that it is perfectly acceptable to fetishise gayness and that two men cannot be emotionally close without jacking their yankies with each other
Did you know you’re assuming that every person is doing it just to fetishize them?
effect, not intent. their intent is irrelevant. using your logic people who make a rape joke aren’t guilty because they might not have intended to cause harm by it. nobody on tumblr believes that,
Did you know that you’re assuming every person who does pair two men is a straight woman?
i don’t care if they’re a straight woman or a queer woman. if people get outraged over whatever people fetishing [whatever group] in stories or art then the same principle applies to people who are not gay or bisexual men fetishising gay relationships. the same goes for men who write idiotic stories or create terrible erotica involving lesbians.
You’re also assuming I’m not fully aware of problematic elements within fandom. Yaoi fetishizes gay relationships; I’m actually going to be writing a research paper on why yaoi is problematic. Go back through my posts and you’d see that. But I’ve been involved in a wide variety of fandom for a long time. More often than not, outside of yaoi, it’s not “arbitrary”. It doesn’t feed into homophobia, it just outs people who are homophobic. “Oh god there’s too much gay”. Fuck that shit. Claiming that it feeds homophobia is bullshit. That is the lamest argument I have ever heard. There’s too much het in the actual show, book, movie, etc.
no, it is not bullshit and holy shit if you are writing a ‘paper’ on this you need to sit down and listen to someone like me, given, y’know, i am a bi/gay man. i have also been involved in fandom since i was twelve years old and i have seen dozens of trends in fanart, fanfic, comics, etc. come and go. i am honestly sick of this attitude to be honest. it’s okay for black, trans or female individuals to endlessly call out what they find problematic, but when gay men do the same thing it’s somehow hurting your feelings because the denizens of tumblr luuuv teh slash fictionz? that is real tough shit. nothing should be sacred or free from scrutiny.
aside from the bara subgenre (which has its own problems but are distinct), when slash and yaoi is problematic, it is problematic for a lot of reasons:
it fetishises an ultramasculine and ultrafeminine power dynamic and aesthetic (seme/uke, macho/girly boy, man/woman) that does not reflect most gay relationships and has its source in japanese and american heteronormativity and gender stereotyping
it reinforces the idea that two men who are close must be fucking each other (even brothers)
it has dozens of specific inaccuracies about gay sexuality and sex acts
it has so many elements of ‘non-con’ that passively reinforce the idea that gay men are rapists incapable of loving one another, or that their love is only activated through sexual brutality
it usually completely eliminates any hint of homophobia from the context of the protagonists lives (especially in yaoi, because homosexuality is a verboten subject in japan and therefore homophobia does not exist in the stories either) and if not that ties homophobia and repression to eroticism. in particular fetishistic stories where every single person is made gay completely eliminate the meaning and context of homosexuality
yaoi and slash fandom in particular has many misogynistic elements reducing women in a story to a third pole or a bitter bunny boiler (western tv shows are not exempt from this either)
there are many women (or straight men, as it happens) who avoid these types of pitfalls and write about gay fiction with accuracy and respect, but they are not as common as you are claiming, because most yaoi and slash is about as empowering for gay male rights as brazzers.com is for lesbian rights.
If you’re angry that there are slash pairings in your fandom, it’s not the fandom or the shippers fault; it’s the fault of the person who can’t get over themselves and their bigotry. You don’t like slash, go somewhere else. Stick to your own corner of the fandom/internet then.
bigotry?! i’m supposed to be bigoted against my OWN sexuality? LOL
i never said it was the fandom or shipper’s fault in totality, but if you cannot comprehend the concept that people in general can reinforce bigoted or tokenistic attitudes in a passive manner then i have no idea why you are writing a paper on this.
i never even said i disliked slash. i said the tendency of shipping all male characters arbitrarily just because they’re close is problematic, because it is, and the OP is right to point that out. there are actually similar problematic aspects in hetero pairings too if people assume a girl and a guy have to get together just because they’re of different sexes, but that is a different subject.
Did I say that slash was problem free? No. I never did. Yeah, two men can be ‘just friends’, but they can also be more than friends. They can be lovers, they can be fuck-buddies, they can have hate-sex, they can do whatever. Fandom is an outlet for fans. A lot of fans use that outlet for their own expression, to find a safe place where they can create something they identify with.
“Why can’t they just be friends” is invalidating and assumptive.
that’s great and wonderful, but identifying with something does not invalidate any of the inherently shitty aspects of something, especially when most people who write or draw slash are not gay men.
it is not ‘invalidating’ at all. if people go around enforcing that principle because they’re homophobic or personally prefer heterosexual pairings, then yes, it can be. but merely expressing annoyance at how two men have to be spliced together constantly for wafer-thin reasons rooted half of the time in homophobic attitudes is not.
it’s always weird when you’re following several different people who are frustrated about people on tumblr arguing but you’re not actually following any of the people doing any of the arguing so you just see a bunch of people who are like “hey everybody should really just chill out” and then you’re just like yes i suppose that is good general advice
I feel a fever coming on me, Burning out of control. And I hear nothing but the static. For years now there’s been nothing But the static on the radio. If you can hear my voice outside these walls, If you can hear me sending out this message tonight, Then break the silence, send a signal back. I’m coming, all I need is a little guiding light. …If you can hear me.
you are triggered:flashbulb memories of traumatizing events come to the surface, anxiety attacks ensue, relapsing causes dangerous behavior, the effects of whatever you are exposed to throws you back to an event that crippled you emotionally and psychologically
you are not triggered:wow that is annoying and i do not agree with it tag your post
“This spectre of rape that cis lesbian “radfems” habitually raise, centered around the supposed inherent threat of the phallus, minimizes the appalling rates of physical and sexual violence committed against trans women, particularly trans women of color and sex workers. It also twists the picture of systemic violence to make it look like trans women are a huge, systemic threat to cis lesbians when in fact trans women as a group face incredible systemic barriers in almost every aspect of life.”—Queer Feminism (via transfeminism)
This is a blog of sluts who like to read. Fuck ‘open books, not legs.’ We do BOTH.
Created in response to the particular kind of slut shaming which suggests that the-oh-so-slutty behavior of taking nude photos of oneself and/or enjoying sex and sexual attention is at odds with reading and other ~intellectual pursuits~. ”
I wish more people in the hetalia/satw fandoms or even just people who personify nations/regions/whatever anyway would make maybe not the whole US but at least some of the states native or black. Neither the current american population, nor US history/culture/etc, consists entirely of white people. =/